If a moment is all we are

[renewedwill]

[a couple of months had passed by since that eventful pocky day happened. and, well. jean would like to say that a lot has happened? but in all actuality, it's nothing monumental. how he feels about it, at least. he still hasn't told his mom (though, if we're being completely honest a small part of him feels like she already knows what's up by now.) he hasn't told any of his friends, and he still feels kind of awkward and weird every time the bodt's pass by their son's door when he's over.

despite all this though? none of this has changed how he feels about marco. in fact it's kind of strengthened the feelings he has for the other? and, now that we're being honest here, he was actually able to realize that he has been harboring feelings for marco for a long time. he's not sure how long, but they've been there since probably around high school.

which-- is what makes all of this frustrating. he had been hoping he would be able to progress a lot faster so that he could do things with the other. as much as marco likes to let on that he can read jean like a book, he... can do the exact same with marco. and despite how many times marco insists that he's not bothered by being unable to show public displays of affection, and things of the like? he can see that it does bother the other to some extent.

it's not like jean is uncomfortable with the idea of telling people that, "hey, i like my best friend from childhood a lot and i like kissing him" and all that shit?? because he's not ashamed of doing that. he's just.... afraid of the attention it will garner, and he doesn't want to deal with that just yet. he's.... well, he's kind of made a reputation of being one of those heterosexual guys at school, and he knows the moment he comes out as bisexual, people will continuously rib on him. and more than likely tell marco that he deserves way better than horse face over here.

he knows marco doesn't care, one way or another about all that since he told jean that he's liked him since junior high? but still. what if he does? what if he decides that jean just isn't worth it and all that he does deserve someone who isn't afraid of doing something with him in public without being scrutinized for it.

jean lets out another sigh as he rolls over on marco's bed and buries his head into marco's pillow. maybe if he stays here long enough he can suffocate himself??? he inhales and loses himself for a couple of moments in marco's scent, and then sits up.]

I'm sorry Marco; I think we should break up.

Comments

[renewedwill]

[he nods] Yeah... I'm sorry. It's?? I just... [he frowns.] I want you to be happy?

[halfwaythere]

[ wraps his arms around him and just lays on him now ] Trust me, I am happy.

[renewedwill]

[he reaches up for marco's hands and gives them a soft squeeze.

ALSO WILL YOU STILL BE HAPPY WITH HIM LIKE. CALLING YOUR CELL PHONE AT 3 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING? AND ALTERNATING THROWING TINY PEBBLES AT YOUR WINDOW??]

[halfwaythere]

[ is that any different from before tho ]

[renewedwill]

[it gets more incessant? and his aim starts to worsen?]

[halfwaythere]

[ and guess who's openning the window at the wrong moment and gets a pebble to the forehead ]

J-Jean? What is it?

[renewedwill]

[he can't even talk he just keeps making wounded animal noises]

[halfwaythere]

Jean?

[ blinks and just decides something quickly ]

Wait there, I'm coming outside.

[ he grabs his jacket and another jacket and just scurries outside to jean ]

[renewedwill]

[he remains silent for a really long time. okay probably ten minutes] They found out

[halfwaythere]

--What?

[ marco's pausing as he wraps the jacket around jean ]

[renewedwill]

T- They found out about us

[halfwaythere]

H-How...? How did they find out?

[renewedwill]

Saw our messages

[halfwaythere]

Jean... Jean, I'm so sorry...

[ slowly pulls him in for a hug ]

[renewedwill]

That's... not the worst of it? They... they kicked me out. M-Marco.... they kicked... kick... [WELP THERE GOES THE WATER WORKS]

[halfwaythere]

[ okay screw the slow part, marco is just flat out pulling jean in and holding him tight ]

[renewedwill]

[just loses it all over his boyfriend. hope you don't mind a completely DRENCHED sleep shirt.] M- Marco I've got... I've got no where to go? I don't... I wasn't even able to get my things.

[halfwaythere]

You're staying here. You're not going to be alone, Jean.

[renewedwill]

[he just clings to marco weakly as he does that weird hiccuping sniffle cry thing.] Thank you, I love you s- so much Marco.

[halfwaythere]

[ running his fingers through jean's hair as he whispers back ] I love you too Jean, let's get you inside.

[renewedwill]

Is-- are you're parent's going to be okay with it?

[halfwaythere]

I'll make sure in a few hours.

It's 3, and you should get a little sleep.

[renewedwill]

[he nods as he kind of just let's marco guide him inside his... new home??] Y- Yeah okay I... I kinda walked from my.... to here.

[halfwaythere]

[ he nods and just guides him to his room ] Take my bed.

[renewedwill]

B- But where are you gonna sleep?