chesedonia | If a moment is all we are

[a couple of months had passed by since that eventful pocky day happened. and, well. jean would like to say that a lot has happened? but in all actuality, it's nothing monumental. how he feels about it, at least. he still hasn't told his mom (though, if we're being completely honest a small part of him feels like she already knows what's up by now.) he hasn't told any of his friends, and he still feels kind of awkward and weird every time the bodt's pass by their son's door when he's over.

despite all this though? none of this has changed how he feels about marco. in fact it's kind of strengthened the feelings he has for the other? and, now that we're being honest here, he was actually able to realize that he has been harboring feelings for marco for a long time. he's not sure how long, but they've been there since probably around high school.

which-- is what makes all of this frustrating. he had been hoping he would be able to progress a lot faster so that he could do things with the other. as much as marco likes to let on that he can read jean like a book, he... can do the exact same with marco. and despite how many times marco insists that he's not bothered by being unable to show public displays of affection, and things of the like? he can see that it does bother the other to some extent.

it's not like jean is uncomfortable with the idea of telling people that, "hey, i like my best friend from childhood a lot and i like kissing him" and all that shit?? because he's not ashamed of doing that. he's just.... afraid of the attention it will garner, and he doesn't want to deal with that just yet. he's.... well, he's kind of made a reputation of being one of those heterosexual guys at school, and he knows the moment he comes out as bisexual, people will continuously rib on him. and more than likely tell marco that he deserves way better than horse face over here.

he knows marco doesn't care, one way or another about all that since he told jean that he's liked him since junior high? but still. what if he does? what if he decides that jean just isn't worth it and all that he does deserve someone who isn't afraid of doing something with him in public without being scrutinized for it.

jean lets out another sigh as he rolls over on marco's bed and buries his head into marco's pillow. maybe if he stays here long enough he can suffocate himself??? he inhales and loses himself for a couple of moments in marco's scent, and then sits up.]

I'm sorry Marco; I think we should break up.

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[he blinks in confusion as he's hit with a pack of condoms.] But you just-- you said... you said we would lose bed sharing privileges if they found out!

That was a few months ago...? I think they've loosened up since then.

So long as we're careful and you know... don't have sex when they're home, we should be fine.

Edited 2021-11-29 01:06 (UTC)

[jean bites his lip apprehensively.] Really? [he sighs] I don't know... it just... you're their baby, and I'm the one who took that.... [he gestures] Are you going to uh-- tell them?

They can't expect me to be pure forever, not when I'm dating someone I love.

[ but for the first time in this conversation he flusters ] Not if they don't ask!

[he frowns] W- What if they ask me!? [he pitches his voice higher in an attempt to sound like marco's mom] "And how did your day go, Jeanbo?"

Oh you know I just sucked your sweet baby boy's banana in the shower. I can't lie to her. I can't look at her in the face and tell her a lie.

[ you're lucky you're so cute but he sighs and leans in to give him a quick kiss ]

Ok, I'll tell them.

Just uh- make sure I'm not... around... I don't know if I can handle their judgement.

I don't know why you're so worried, you're practically their second son now.

Marco, I took away your innocence! I'll be lucky if I keep my head after they find out! [he opens his mouth and is about to say something about how his own mother would react, but wow. that... sort of makes him feel sad.]

[ reaches up to cup his cheeks and try to get across to him that they are not his parents ]

They love and adore you Jean, almost as much as I do. So long as you didn't force me, they'd be ok with whatever we do together in private.

[ and with that he's going to lean in and gently kiss him ]

[he's really not sure why he thought of her. in fact he sort of hates the fact that he did. he's been separate from his blood family for about... three years now? but it doesn't get easier. of course the bodts filled that void rather quickly. he was really grateful for that, which is why--] I just... I know your parents aren't like mine, but I always have that fear, that "what if..." feeling. Which is why I'm probably making a bigger deal out of this than I should be.

[he returns the kiss and then pulls away to look up at him.] I'm sorry.

[ he hates that jean had this experience with his own parents, that they raised the possibility that this could happen for him. he understands that not every family can be like his. but he wants jean to remember that this isn't just marco's family, it's his now. ]

You're fine, Jean.

[ giving him a soft smile ]

Do you... want to have this talk with them together then?

Should... Should I?

If you want, but I won't force you.

[he reaches for marco's hand.]

I... I think I want to.

[ smiles and leans in to kiss him again ]

[SMOOCHES!

also how awful would it be if their parents walked in on them wet, naked, and smooching. ololololol]

[ well tht would make the talk easier

so let's just say there they are, smooching with the bathroom door open and they suddenly hear a throat being cleared and then marco pulls away from the kiss, still holding jean ]

Uhhh, hey guys...

[ and that is how the parents found out that the boys did the diddly ]

[THE MORTIFICATION!!!!!

but ok now we're at the most magical place in the world. aka disney. jean wanted to do something super special for marco and he figured the most memorable way to propose to the light of his life would be at the most happiest place in the world. or some gay shit like that, he's been stressed out for six months trying to make sure that this goes perfectly!!!! because marco deserves perfection!

he even called the restaurant they had a reservation for later that evening just to make sure (and give them monetary bribe if needed) everything was set up perfectly. it would also be super awk if he gave the restaurant his very expensive ring for them to in turn, give it to the wrong happy couple.

he kicks his feet on the bed before looking at his watch.] Babe? You ready???

Give me a minute!

[ marco is in the bathroom, getting his shit together: aka he's just looking at the ring he picked out himself to propose to jean. he's had the ring for a few months, wanting to pop the question to his boyfriend, but the timing never seemed right. but now they're at disney and nothing could seem more perfect. he's just going ot keep an eye out for the right time and hopefully, jean will say yes.

they've definitely talked about marriage before, but-- this is different from just talking about it. ]

OK, coming out.

[ and out he comes, ring back in his pocket, smiling wide ] Ready, Ponyboy.

[jean hops off the bed and wanders over to lean against the frame that leads from the little hallway to their bedroom. once marco excuses himself from the bathroom he pushes off of it and plants a soft kiss on his cheek.]

Born ready. [he reaches out for the other's hand.] Which ride are you looking forward to riding first?