chesedonia | If a moment is all we are

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If a moment is all we are

[a couple of months had passed by since that eventful pocky day happened. and, well. jean would like to say that a lot has happened? but in all actuality, it's nothing monumental. how he feels about it, at least. he still hasn't told his mom (though, if we're being completely honest a small part of him feels like she already knows what's up by now.) he hasn't told any of his friends, and he still feels kind of awkward and weird every time the bodt's pass by their son's door when he's over.

despite all this though? none of this has changed how he feels about marco. in fact it's kind of strengthened the feelings he has for the other? and, now that we're being honest here, he was actually able to realize that he has been harboring feelings for marco for a long time. he's not sure how long, but they've been there since probably around high school.

which-- is what makes all of this frustrating. he had been hoping he would be able to progress a lot faster so that he could do things with the other. as much as marco likes to let on that he can read jean like a book, he... can do the exact same with marco. and despite how many times marco insists that he's not bothered by being unable to show public displays of affection, and things of the like? he can see that it does bother the other to some extent.

it's not like jean is uncomfortable with the idea of telling people that, "hey, i like my best friend from childhood a lot and i like kissing him" and all that shit?? because he's not ashamed of doing that. he's just.... afraid of the attention it will garner, and he doesn't want to deal with that just yet. he's.... well, he's kind of made a reputation of being one of those heterosexual guys at school, and he knows the moment he comes out as bisexual, people will continuously rib on him. and more than likely tell marco that he deserves way better than horse face over here.

he knows marco doesn't care, one way or another about all that since he told jean that he's liked him since junior high? but still. what if he does? what if he decides that jean just isn't worth it and all that he does deserve someone who isn't afraid of doing something with him in public without being scrutinized for it.

jean lets out another sigh as he rolls over on marco's bed and buries his head into marco's pillow. maybe if he stays here long enough he can suffocate himself??? he inhales and loses himself for a couple of moments in marco's scent, and then sits up.]

I'm sorry Marco; I think we should break up.

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Not my fault you couldn't remember anything from right before your hands were on my dick.

[ lets the shirt him and just, gonna smell it, right in front of jean ]

[he throws his hands up in the air] Because you made me come!!! Your brain would be goop too if you had been waiting for this sort of thing to happen, and actually--

[he blinks as he stares at the other not so subtly inhale his shirt.]

Actually.....

[what... was he even mad about??? he can't even remember. the only thing that takes precedence right now is how hard his dick is throbbing. it... actually really fucking hurts. he snaps out of his trance with a small head shake.]

Actually what were you talking about bananas? Because mine is starting to hurt and you're really hot and get in the shower Bodt before that shit goes cold.

[ turning his head while it's still in jean's shirt ] What? You don't think I haven't been holding back myself?

[ dropping the shirt and opening the shower door to step into it ]

But are you going to stand there with your pants on or are you going to join me?

[ and steps into the shower ]

[he all but rips his pants off. and it's not because marco ordered him to do it. he definitely does not have a kink. nope. no way. this isn't turning him on more!!! it's just your imagination buddy.

and if how quickly he all but rushes into the shower might negate that, then oh well. he'll deny till he dies.

his boner twitches a little as he thinks about it a little......] No, maybe, I don't know.

[ just chalking this up to jean's eagerness to come for a second time that night. marco is going to lean against the shower wall as the spray runs down his body. his hand is lightly grasping his cock, and he's giving jean a(n attempt at) a sultry look. ]

Hm, so, you want to suck me off?

[jean gives marco an unsure look as his eyes dart from his face to his dick. boy does he want to suck that dicc, but he...hasn't...actually done this before, so he's a bit apprehensive. what if he gags? what if the smell, and taste of it all is too overpowering and kills the whole vibe. what if semen is actually super salty and gross? would he gag on that as well? would he choke on it and cough it back up on marco?? wasn't there a thing a while back that said spitters are quitters? he surely hopes marco wouldn't think him a quitter if he does spit it up.

he bites the bottom of his lip as he continues spiraling down his intrusive thoughts.]

[ he can see those intrusive thoughts happening and is going to move away from the wall. his hand is going to come up and gently cup jean's face. ]

Hey, Ponyboy, look at me. [ gentle smile ] You don't have to, if you don't want to. I can't imagine you've ever done it before, so don't worry about it being amazing. I mean, I choked on yours like 10 minutes ago. We could just... keep kissing and touching each other, if you want to do that?

[he turns his face towards marco's palm and presses a soft, and gentle kiss on it.]

M- Maybe lead up to it? I don't... not want to suck your banana. But just jumping straight into banana sucking......

That's fine with me.

[ leans in to kiss his cheek and then press his forehead against jean's ] Start off with touching it.

[he gives the other a solemn nod. okay you can do this kirstein you can do this. you can touch your boyfriends dick without feeling awkward about it. his parents are still out and they won't magically appear in the shower to scold them for being inappropriate!!!!

a few minutes after hyping himself up, he reaches out and touches the peen. he holds it in his hands for a few minutes before he touches marco the way he would touch himself.]

[ gives him a shuddering nod ] Good, that's good Jean...

[he leans forward for a kiss as he continues to fondle marco's balls. he makes a swiping motion with his hand as he slides his fingers around the curve and then up the shaft. every now and then he rubs his thumb over the tip of the head.] Yeah? It's... it's not too rough is it? [a pause] This is how I touch myself.

You can touch me however you want. [ his hands come up to grip at jean's shoulders as his hand keeps working along his cock. it's good, oh so good, and so much better than his own hand ]

[if jean could have anything in the world, it would definitely have to be the ability to be just as suave as marco. especially when the other really doesn't have to put any effort into it. he probably doesn't even realize that either, and that's the one thing that drives jean crazy, in all the right ways at least.

he has to keep a conscious effort into making sure his jaw stays firmly closed, but at times like these it's hard. he squares his shoulders a little as he moves forward to work a hickey on marco's collarbone. he opts for something less noticeable, because he surely doesn't want the bodts to question how that exactly got there and... when it got there either. in between this, he breaks away to say:] I love you so freaking much--

[and with that he goes back to working his hand up and down. he squeezes it and pinches it every now and then before he pulls his hands off of it all together.

maybe... maybe now would be a good time to ease into sucking his boyfriend's cock. he definitely wants to continue sucking, but given how red and unhappy the splotch on marco's skin is, it probably would be best to stop sucking that and to suck something else.]

[ marco certainly isn't trying. he's just being honest with jean. the issue here is that jean can certainly be smooth and suave, he just keeps getting caught up in his own head to realize it. the number of times he's driven marco crazy himself certainly speak to that.

as jean moves in to suck at his collarbone, one of his hands shifts to the back of his head, holding him there as he gasps and moans jean's name ] Jean... Jean... I love you too

[ he can't hold back his groan of displeasure when jean's hand moves away from his cock

but then he sees jean start to lower himself and oh

oh

yes

this is better ]

[he didn't realize marco had such an earthy scent? but the closer he gets to marco's dick the closer he gets turned on by the scent. okay-- wait, no, he knew marco had a natrual earthy scent, but he just.... didn't realize the smell would be potent around his dick??? it practically makes him salivate.

once he's settled on his knees he reaches out and grabs ahold of marco's cock and presses soft kisses to it to test the waters.]

Y-yeah, that's good.. keep it up, Jean...

[ hand back in his hair, gently carding through it as he leans againt the wall for leverage ]

[he looks up at marco and offers him a small smile before he puts his dick in his mouth.

it takes everything in him to not automatically gag because he might have been a little over eager and took him in a bit... too far. so excuse him as he adjusts and readjusts himself.]

[ not like the sounds marco are making are any indication that jean is doing a bad job

nope

quite the opposite ]

[okok once he feels like he's got marco's dick where he wants it in his mouth he tentatively starts moving his head. he presses his tongue against the sides of it as he suckles against it lightly.

after a few minutes he starts groping and fondling marco's balls]

[ and marco is gasping and slipping against the wet floor but it's all so good and sorry your boyfriend is a virgin jean because ] Jean... Jean... I'm close--!

[he mumbles very incoherently, but hopefully the vibrations help.

he'll also continue to touch whatever he can that doesn't fit in his mouth.]

[ tugging at his head, because he's close and oh god what if jean isn't ready to get cum in hi--

whoops

too late

coming with a loud moan of jean's name ]

[startled with the suddenly surprising amount of cum and dick in his mouth it all becomes too much and he starts gagging.

is this?? is this how he dies?

jesus christ, god is going to judge him so hard as he sends jean down to hell]

[ and he's gonna get a high five from the devil

"so. you're the died choking on your boyfriend's jizz?"

"uh. yeah?"

"nice"

meanwhile marco is just sagging against the wall, sated like holy shit ]

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