If a moment is all we are

[renewedwill]

[a couple of months had passed by since that eventful pocky day happened. and, well. jean would like to say that a lot has happened? but in all actuality, it's nothing monumental. how he feels about it, at least. he still hasn't told his mom (though, if we're being completely honest a small part of him feels like she already knows what's up by now.) he hasn't told any of his friends, and he still feels kind of awkward and weird every time the bodt's pass by their son's door when he's over.

despite all this though? none of this has changed how he feels about marco. in fact it's kind of strengthened the feelings he has for the other? and, now that we're being honest here, he was actually able to realize that he has been harboring feelings for marco for a long time. he's not sure how long, but they've been there since probably around high school.

which-- is what makes all of this frustrating. he had been hoping he would be able to progress a lot faster so that he could do things with the other. as much as marco likes to let on that he can read jean like a book, he... can do the exact same with marco. and despite how many times marco insists that he's not bothered by being unable to show public displays of affection, and things of the like? he can see that it does bother the other to some extent.

it's not like jean is uncomfortable with the idea of telling people that, "hey, i like my best friend from childhood a lot and i like kissing him" and all that shit?? because he's not ashamed of doing that. he's just.... afraid of the attention it will garner, and he doesn't want to deal with that just yet. he's.... well, he's kind of made a reputation of being one of those heterosexual guys at school, and he knows the moment he comes out as bisexual, people will continuously rib on him. and more than likely tell marco that he deserves way better than horse face over here.

he knows marco doesn't care, one way or another about all that since he told jean that he's liked him since junior high? but still. what if he does? what if he decides that jean just isn't worth it and all that he does deserve someone who isn't afraid of doing something with him in public without being scrutinized for it.

jean lets out another sigh as he rolls over on marco's bed and buries his head into marco's pillow. maybe if he stays here long enough he can suffocate himself??? he inhales and loses himself for a couple of moments in marco's scent, and then sits up.]

I'm sorry Marco; I think we should break up.

Comments

[halfwaythere]

[ well they are covered by a blanket so if you're feeling brave ponyboy ]

[renewedwill]

[:|a hmmm. nahhhh. he's a tired pony. so he's just gonna snuggle even closer to the other instead]

[halfwaythere]

[ that's just as good.

he's going to keep kissing jean as he slowly moves them to lay along the couch ]

[renewedwill]

[follows marco's lead. bc that's all he does. he follows.]

[halfwaythere]

[ well, now you have an adorable boyfriend laying on you.

kissing is still going on but it's died down in its intensity but it's definitely so much more ]

[renewedwill]

[an adorable boyfriend who he is most definitely not letting go of!!!!! he does get a little sleepy though and kind of goes in and out of consciousness. but!!! he's still kissing!!!!]

[halfwaythere]

[ it's fine, marco stops the kissing when jean passes out but he's just going to rest his head on jean's chest and listen to his heart beat

like a sap ]

[renewedwill]

[nah, being a sap would be trying to synch heartbeats.]

[halfwaythere]

[ nah that's too much body control he doesn't want to deal with right now ]

[renewedwill]

[whale then.

but no ok. i hope you're prepared for a super clingy ponyboy]

[halfwaythere]

[ it's fucking adorable ]

[renewedwill]

[but is a drooly ponyboy adorable?]

[halfwaythere]

[ slightly less but still adorbs ]

[renewedwill]

[annnnd what if he calls out to marco from time to time???]

[halfwaythere]

[ how is he calling out?? ]

[renewedwill]

Marco... [sssssoft ssssnoores] mm- marco...

[halfwaythere]

[ this is. kinda hot

[renewedwill]

[is it hot when he's afraid of marco leaving him tho???]

[halfwaythere]

[ look it's your fault for using the kawaii blushing icon and not a more traumatic icon and having me misread the situation ]

[renewedwill]

[just as keikaku.]

[halfwaythere]

[ so since it's not a hot moment, marco is just going to curl up around jean even more ]

[renewedwill]

[just as planned. he curls his hands around marco like he's a human sized teddy bear]

[halfwaythere]

[ this teddy bear cuddles back so it's all good ]

[renewedwill]

[magical time lapse!!!!!!!! magical time lapse to jean basically sucking a hickey into the side of marco's neck :>]

[halfwaythere]

[ and marco has his head tilted to the side, letting jean do that

hand in his hair, holding him in place ]