If a moment is all we are

[renewedwill]

[a couple of months had passed by since that eventful pocky day happened. and, well. jean would like to say that a lot has happened? but in all actuality, it's nothing monumental. how he feels about it, at least. he still hasn't told his mom (though, if we're being completely honest a small part of him feels like she already knows what's up by now.) he hasn't told any of his friends, and he still feels kind of awkward and weird every time the bodt's pass by their son's door when he's over.

despite all this though? none of this has changed how he feels about marco. in fact it's kind of strengthened the feelings he has for the other? and, now that we're being honest here, he was actually able to realize that he has been harboring feelings for marco for a long time. he's not sure how long, but they've been there since probably around high school.

which-- is what makes all of this frustrating. he had been hoping he would be able to progress a lot faster so that he could do things with the other. as much as marco likes to let on that he can read jean like a book, he... can do the exact same with marco. and despite how many times marco insists that he's not bothered by being unable to show public displays of affection, and things of the like? he can see that it does bother the other to some extent.

it's not like jean is uncomfortable with the idea of telling people that, "hey, i like my best friend from childhood a lot and i like kissing him" and all that shit?? because he's not ashamed of doing that. he's just.... afraid of the attention it will garner, and he doesn't want to deal with that just yet. he's.... well, he's kind of made a reputation of being one of those heterosexual guys at school, and he knows the moment he comes out as bisexual, people will continuously rib on him. and more than likely tell marco that he deserves way better than horse face over here.

he knows marco doesn't care, one way or another about all that since he told jean that he's liked him since junior high? but still. what if he does? what if he decides that jean just isn't worth it and all that he does deserve someone who isn't afraid of doing something with him in public without being scrutinized for it.

jean lets out another sigh as he rolls over on marco's bed and buries his head into marco's pillow. maybe if he stays here long enough he can suffocate himself??? he inhales and loses himself for a couple of moments in marco's scent, and then sits up.]

I'm sorry Marco; I think we should break up.

Comments

[halfwaythere]

[ turning his head to press a couple of kisses to the side of his head ]

We should... clean ourselves up... soon.

[renewedwill]

[he murmurs incoherently as he rubs his head against marco's shoulder] or we could just sleep now

[halfwaythere]

I mean, if you want to sleep with your hand in my pants and our come on each other when my parents get home innnn... [ turning his head ] an hour?

[renewedwill]

you make it sound like a horrible idea.

1/2

[halfwaythere]

I would rather not risk losing the privilege of sleeping with you every night if my parents find out we're not so innocent anymore...

[ pausing as he thinks ]

[halfwaythere]

--Wanna eat my banana in the shower?

[renewedwill]

[forgive him bc his brain is a puddle of goo still]

But...wouldn't it get soggy?

[halfwaythere]

[ laughs and just. gives him a kiss

with tongue. ]

Not the banana I was talking about.

[ and oh, pulling away

walking towards the shower

and would you look at that

there goes his shirt ]

[renewedwill]

[he's too confused to even really return the kiss. he's still trying to wrap his mind over which banana his boyfriend is talking about.

...

...

...

!!!

of course watching him walk away stripping his clothes kind of helps fill the pieces in.

and would you look at that his boner returns

he scrambles to get to his feet and follow after his boyfriend's hot ass]

[halfwaythere]

[ speaking of hot ass

guess who, in waiting for jean's brain to catch up, has managed to strip all the way and is just testing the shower water, waiting for it to warm up ]

Oh, I was wondering if you were going to catch up.

1/2

[renewedwill]

[he's gonna take this moment to appreciate marco's hot bod.]

[renewedwill]

[okay kirstein play it cool, be smooth. you got this.]

Hey it's not my fault you were talking to me about bananas while my brain was still goop!

[and with that he throws his shirt at marco]

[halfwaythere]

Not my fault you couldn't remember anything from right before your hands were on my dick.

[ lets the shirt him and just, gonna smell it, right in front of jean ]

[renewedwill]

[he throws his hands up in the air] Because you made me come!!! Your brain would be goop too if you had been waiting for this sort of thing to happen, and actually--

[he blinks as he stares at the other not so subtly inhale his shirt.]

Actually.....

[what... was he even mad about??? he can't even remember. the only thing that takes precedence right now is how hard his dick is throbbing. it... actually really fucking hurts. he snaps out of his trance with a small head shake.]

Actually what were you talking about bananas? Because mine is starting to hurt and you're really hot and get in the shower Bodt before that shit goes cold.

[halfwaythere]

[ turning his head while it's still in jean's shirt ] What? You don't think I haven't been holding back myself?

[ dropping the shirt and opening the shower door to step into it ]

But are you going to stand there with your pants on or are you going to join me?

[ and steps into the shower ]

[renewedwill]

[he all but rips his pants off. and it's not because marco ordered him to do it. he definitely does not have a kink. nope. no way. this isn't turning him on more!!! it's just your imagination buddy.

and if how quickly he all but rushes into the shower might negate that, then oh well. he'll deny till he dies.




his boner twitches a little as he thinks about it a little......] No, maybe, I don't know.

[halfwaythere]

[ just chalking this up to jean's eagerness to come for a second time that night. marco is going to lean against the shower wall as the spray runs down his body. his hand is lightly grasping his cock, and he's giving jean a(n attempt at) a sultry look. ]

Hm, so, you want to suck me off?

[renewedwill]

[jean gives marco an unsure look as his eyes dart from his face to his dick. boy does he want to suck that dicc, but he...hasn't...actually done this before, so he's a bit apprehensive. what if he gags? what if the smell, and taste of it all is too overpowering and kills the whole vibe. what if semen is actually super salty and gross? would he gag on that as well? would he choke on it and cough it back up on marco?? wasn't there a thing a while back that said spitters are quitters? he surely hopes marco wouldn't think him a quitter if he does spit it up.

he bites the bottom of his lip as he continues spiraling down his intrusive thoughts.]

[halfwaythere]

[ he can see those intrusive thoughts happening and is going to move away from the wall. his hand is going to come up and gently cup jean's face. ]

Hey, Ponyboy, look at me. [ gentle smile ] You don't have to, if you don't want to. I can't imagine you've ever done it before, so don't worry about it being amazing. I mean, I choked on yours like 10 minutes ago. We could just... keep kissing and touching each other, if you want to do that?

[renewedwill]

[he turns his face towards marco's palm and presses a soft, and gentle kiss on it.]

M- Maybe lead up to it? I don't... not want to suck your banana. But just jumping straight into banana sucking......

[halfwaythere]

That's fine with me.

[ leans in to kiss his cheek and then press his forehead against jean's ] Start off with touching it.

[renewedwill]

[he gives the other a solemn nod. okay you can do this kirstein you can do this. you can touch your boyfriends dick without feeling awkward about it. his parents are still out and they won't magically appear in the shower to scold them for being inappropriate!!!!

a few minutes after hyping himself up, he reaches out and touches the peen. he holds it in his hands for a few minutes before he touches marco the way he would touch himself.]

[halfwaythere]

[ gives him a shuddering nod ] Good, that's good Jean...

[renewedwill]

[he leans forward for a kiss as he continues to fondle marco's balls. he makes a swiping motion with his hand as he slides his fingers around the curve and then up the shaft. every now and then he rubs his thumb over the tip of the head.] Yeah? It's... it's not too rough is it? [a pause] This is how I touch myself.

[halfwaythere]

You can touch me however you want. [ his hands come up to grip at jean's shoulders as his hand keeps working along his cock. it's good, oh so good, and so much better than his own hand ]