there's a part of him that's still too young and human and full of love to survive for much longer. the part of him that hovers behind the tremble of his hands every time he makes a shot. some of their targets still look human, indistinguishable from one of their own. some of them still have the power of rudimentary speech. some of them can shed tears.
every time they go out, every time he needs to take a shot, that hesitation lasts a shorter amount of time. sometimes he looks to his left or his right where sousuke's shadow blankets the ground and he wonders -- when the hesitation ceases to exist, is that when he's forgotten his humanity entirely?
their lives aren't as terrible as they could be. it's not like the movies, where the enemy is faster and stronger and more bloodthirsty; they amble about like lost beasts, eating carrion like vultures, dangerous only after scenting blood. otherwise none of them would have survived. rin, who was seventeen when the infection broken out in tokyo, the high population density meaning that the city was overrun in a matter of days. it had taken longer to spread to iwatobi, at which point the local municipality had taken precautions. rin had learned to shoot a gun, to barricade a house, to start a fire with minimal help. they'd taken sousuke's parents' house as their home base, tearing away memory and history before making it their own. sousuke's parents had been in tokyo during the first wave. ]
Sorry.
[ rin's voice is soft, but it still carries across the room. sousuke is sitting on the bed, looking cold and unreachable in his distance. it makes rin want to shuck off his bloody clothes and tuck himself against sousuke's side, to bring him back from the brink of terrible memory that strikes them all at the worst of times. ]
Should've taken that shot today. Thanks for covering for me.
[ his hesitation had flubbed it, but sousuke had been there, quick and deadly, taking out the two gristly horrors that would have separated rin's head from his neck had they made it another ten feet forward.
they'd been two children. two girls. one of them still had her hair in pigtails.
rin unbuttons his jacket, tossing it off to the side to be sanitized later. he drags his pants off, as well. in a t-shirt a boxers, both clean except for the dust and sweat of the day, rin goes to the desk, pulling out the first aid kid that's already running low. they'll have to make another supply run sometime this week. ]
Let me take care of that gash on your arm, alright?
[to sousuke it was plain as day that rin wasn't quite fit for this world. but just because he wasn't fit for this world didn't mean that he adapted to it better than anyone else he knew. rin had his moments of course, and today was definitely not a good day for him.
they had been out and about roaming for food when they ran into the two zombie girls. sousuke was deeper inside the house when it happened. he had actually come across a very good haul of food and other important necessities they would need later on in the week. he forgot why he called out to rin now, but i'm pretty sure it had something to do with their inventory on socks and blankets. so when rin didn't answer back right away he knew something was up. he dropped everything he had been holding and ran out towards the front of the house, and that's where he saw them.
two dead zombie girls were slowly advancing on rin and he just stood there. without really thinking on it, sousuke quickly grabbed one of the dusty lamps that was in reach and ran towards his friend. unfortunately as he did this, he brushed right up against a piece of wood that was sticking out from the wall. he faltered a little, but it didn't stop him from taking the two zombies out silently. and of course he knifed them in the head after they fell. he didn't want to risk getting bitten, after all. once the two girls were taken care of he dropped the lamp and doubled back the room he was in and grabbed the bag. when he had everything he made an instant b-line for rin and gently touched his shoulder signaling that they needed to go. they had spent too much time in this house anyway.
anyway- that happened a couple of hours ago and he's still thinking about it. he snaps out of thought the moment he hears rin speak up. his gaze lifts off of the sheets and over to his friend.]
It's fine. We probably need to conserve our ammo anyway. I get the feeling that we're running short.
[he really knew what rin was trying to get at though. and honestly he couldn't blame him. rin was still probably worried over not knowing if his sister was doing okay after they split up a while ago. the girls probably reminded him of her. so of course rin wouldn't be in the right state of mind, especially when he stumbled into people who reminded him of his little sister.
truth be told, sousuke's kind of glad that he's not in rin's shoes right now, since he's pretty positive that both of his parents died when this first started. it... kind of helped him think that at least, he truly didn't know if they were alive or not. and the only person sousuke truly cared about was with him right now. so he was okay with rin not being fast enough.
anyway- he scoots over and pats the space next to him.] Sure.
[ sometimes rin wishes that sousuke wouldn't be so forgiving. that he'd let rin take the blame for his own shortcomings. because they are shortcomings, self-indulgent at best: rin has proven himself to be an excellent shot, quick on his feet, good in a fight. but his hands are tangled up in his heartstrings; sometimes it's impossible for him to take the last step.
he dreams of gou often. none of the others, only gou. her hair a streaming red banner, the unnaturally bright. hiding thumbprints of blood across her skull. rin wakes, but he never truly wakes — it stays with him, the image of his baby sister, down into every crevice they descend.
rin takes the invitation, slipping into sousuke's space with the ease of familiarity. after their isolation, that familiarity has only grown and grown, until rin hardly recognizes what it is to be separate. he unpacks the first aid kit with practiced hands. a wet cloth, antiseptic, gauze, bandage. clean, disinfect, wrap.
they've both changed since, their strong swimmers' builds giving way to a lean hunger. they look like runners, the bulm of muscle sloughed off, only the necessary remaining. sousuke, hollow-cheeked. sometimes, when rin catches sight of him in the periphery, it takes a moment for recognition to settle in. ]
Sousuke.
[ rin murmurs, softly. once he's finished washing the wound, dried flakes of blood dotting his hands. ]
If it ever comes down to it -- if you ever have to choose between saving my idiotic ass and getting out of there yourself --
[ he's obviously been thinking about this for a great amount of time, because the words are sharp with the characteristic matsuoka determination. he won't take a refusal for an answer. ]
It's my own damn fault that I freeze up like that. You can't choose me.
[the one thing that pained him the most was not knowing what to do or say to comfort his friend whenever he woke up from those dreams- no.... nightmares are more like it. he tries to remain positive for rin though. it doesn't do well to dwell on the what if's of the world, especially when things have all gone to shit. so instead he remains strong and positive. they'll find her again, he knows they will. gou has a good head on her shoulders anyways. she's a fighter, a survivor. but, it still hurts him when he hears rin wake up in the dead of night and cry.
he watches rin unpack everything and get to bandaging his arm up as he lets his thoughts drift to a more safer territory. he can't allow himself to think so much on stuff like that. he knows he needs to be rin's rock. in fact, he's more than willing to make the hard calls and do the things that could potentially damage a person.
his eyes widen in momentary shock as he listens to rin. he bites the inside of his cheek to stop him from completely going off on rin.]
Are you done? [his eyes never leave rin's] Because I'm tired of listening to you say how better off I would be if I left you behind whenever things get too tough. I'll always choose you, frozen butt and all, so you better get used to it.
[ they're dreams. they're not real. rin knows this better than anything; the fact that he's still waking sousuke in the middle of the night with his own inability to swallow what they're dealing with... well, that's what frustrates him the most.
he pulls out a long splinter embedded in the gash, folding it into the wet cloth before he replies. ]
Stop being an idiot and listen to me. For once.
[ there's anger in rin's voice, even as he manages to keep his hands gentle. this isn't a fight they've had before, but it's one that's been brewing for a long time. ]
I'm good out there. I know I am. But - you have to admit that you're better. Forget everything else, if we're just talking who has a higher chance of surviving alone, if it comes down to it --
[ rin's hand on sousuke's shoulder, curling over the swell of it. the smell of antiseptic sharp in the air. ]
Of course it would be you.
the fact that i logged into this account for this icon tho..... sobs
[sousuke rarely liked telling people to shut up, but, he also didn't like thinking about having to go on without his best friend. while he knows what rin says is true, he's also pretty sure that if rin does die (or turns) then he really wouldn't have anything left to live for. which probably says how unhealthy his reliance is when it comes to rin.
he didn't really like admitting it, because it really reeked of weakness. but he would be lying to himself if he tried to deny it. he needed rin, he needed to know that the other was doing well, and that he was alive and kicking. and not some dead being that ate other people.]
I wouldn't last a day if you died. [he lowers his head a little.] I need you, Rin. I need you more than you know.
sousuke why are you so hot when you're pissed though
[ rin's hands tremble when he moves to pick up the length of bandage, not ready to look up to see the expression that he knows sousuke is wearing. the ice-chips of his pale eyes, wintry in anger. the opposing force to rin's own anger, rising like flame within him. ]
You should have said that before. Before all of this happened.
[ he's not talking about either of them dying.
rin gives up on trying to unravel the knot of bandage; his hands are shaking too violently. he leans instead to press his forehead against sousuke's shoulder, filling his lungs with the scent of blood and sweat and isopropanol. ]
idk man, these are things i ask myself on a daily basis......
[he knows he should scale down the angry expression he has on his face right now, but, it's frustrating. it's frustrating because rin shouldn't be this ready to give up on life should things get too hectic. he's angry, but his anger isn't really directed towards rin. it's mostly directed towards how shitty things have gotten, and the grim way of thinking people have adopted.
he gives a quiet huff as he shakes his head.] There wasn't really a good time to bring it up.
[ rin feels sousuke's exhalation of breath, the shift of muscles under skin, and - all of a sudden - exhaustion snuffs his own anger, pouring into his limbs like liquid silver. cold and bright and heavy. ]
It doesn't change anything, you realize?
[ and only after he's mastered himself does he look up at sousuke, putting a handspan of distance between them again. reaching for the bandage. he's calm now, deathly so. ]
[ that's enough to reignite rin's anger. he finishes wrapping the bandage, meeting sousuke's gaze furiously. tying the dressing a little too tight for comfort. ]
Is it fair to say something like I need you when I'm trying to lay out our future? What if Gou wanders back? What if Haru does? You can't just go and selfishly sacrifice yourself for me when there's the possibility that one of the others are going to need you somewhere down the line. I wanted to make sure of that.
[ and that's the crux of it. that's why rin had brought it up in the first place. it's not only about the two of them. ]
[he winces a little when rin ties off his dressing a little too tightly. but other than that, he doesn't verbally say anything, or comment on the tightness. he frowns and shakes his head.]
You're asking me to move on without you, Rin! How exactly is that fair? I would never choose to leave you behind. Besides what would your sister or Haru say if they found out that things got to dicey and I had to leave you behind? They would hate me. They would ask me why I didn't stay behind and help you fight them off. And what do I tell them? You wanted me to leave you behind.
[sousuke reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder and gives it a firm squeeze.] I'm not leaving you behind, Rin. So you can get that thought out of your head, because it's not going to happen.
Fuck the world, then? Is that it? Let it all burn?
[ there are tears rising past the anger, but rin is helpless against them, unable to do anything but let them follow the curve of his cheeks, clinging to his chin before falling to wet his t-shirt.
because he can't fault sousuke for being unable to make a promise that rin knows that he wouldn't be able to keep, either. ]
If that's what it comes down to, then yes. I told you Rin, I'm not leaving you behind. And if I do, but I won't, I wouldn't last a day on my own. I wouldn't be able to help anybody if I chose you over myself.
[sousuke frowns as he sees the tears track down his face. he reaches out to gently wipe them away with his thumb.]
[ rin pulls away, wiping his face on the sleeve of his t-shirt. because sousuke's anger is easy to combat with his own, but this -- this is too much.
he busies himself with retying the bandage instead. he wants to say it again, the insistence that sousuke's feelings can't take precedence over his own. but rin knows sousuke as well as he knows himself. stubbornness is a trait they share. ]
Then I guess it's just a matter of me steeling up. [ rin pats at the re-tied bandage before his hands fall away. his gaze to the window. outside, nothing has changed. ] So I don't get you and your giant sappy heart eaten.
[he looks at rin with an unreadable expression. he watches him move about with a shred of concern in his eyes. he doesn't mind being the one who changes the most in this place, so long as it means that rin didn't have to discard his humanity. rin doesn't need to change anyway. if he did then it would really mean that this world has changed and that the only thing to do is to move on and survive. in a way, sousuke still likes holding to the fact that there's still hope. they can still find away to move from this.
what rin says though, earns a tiny smile out of sousuke] Yeah, because that's the last thing me and my giant sappy heart needs.
sousuke crying alone in the locker room ... never over it
Don't smile, asshole. [ rin shoves a palm into sousuke's face, shoving it petulantly away. he doesn't feel any better, but -- there's nothing he can do, not at this point.
even if there's a part of him unworthy of acknowledgment that feels an iota of relief. ] I'm still pissed off at you.
[ rin is quiet for a longer time, pushing the emptied first aid kit out of the way until he can crawl across the bed, fitting himself against sousuke's back.
sousuke is grimy, dirty, covered in sweat, but rin sets his cheek to the knobs of his spine anyway. ]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need me. I got that part.
[ flippant words, but the fact that rin has moved closer rather than putting distance between them should be answer enough. ]
[this is probably the first time sousuke has ever felt this close to peace since all of this started? he inhales deeply and exhales slowly when he feels rin rests his head against his back.]
You'll never guess what I found when we were raiding that house.
[ rin's response is cranky but lacking the sharpness from a moment prior, muffled against sousuke's back.
it's all that they can do, maybe. it's what the world has reduced them to: the physical embodiment of their stubbornness, moving forward until they can't possibly continue. ]
[he reaches over into the side of his bag and grabs two bottles of pocari sweat and a handful of some of the better tasting protein bars. there also might be a few granola bars and a candy bar or two.]
I think the person was either going on a diet, and failed; or was an athlete that had way too many cheat days. I remember you saying that you were too picky when it came to protein bars, so, I hope this is an okay selection.
[ well. just the sight of a pocari bottle is enough to bring back a slew of colorful memories, rin unraveling from his hunched position behind sousuke to see what sousuke's brought. his shoulders slump, and - all at once - the tension sluices away from him. he pitches forward, resting his forehead against his palm, and --
then he's laughing softly, the sound of it pulled free from somewhere deep within. of all the things to find, he'd never thought that the sight of pocari sweat would make him feel like this. glad to be alive. glad to be here, with his best friend, who still knows him best.
he reaches down, just enough to thumb away a fleck of blood on sousuke's cheek. ]
God, I'm just -- remember that time that I asked you to get me a drink and you came back with that awful Beetle Golden Honey shit?
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chesedonia2014-10-12 10:02 pm
no subject
there's a part of him that's still too young and human and full of love to survive for much longer. the part of him that hovers behind the tremble of his hands every time he makes a shot. some of their targets still look human, indistinguishable from one of their own. some of them still have the power of rudimentary speech. some of them can shed tears.
every time they go out, every time he needs to take a shot, that hesitation lasts a shorter amount of time. sometimes he looks to his left or his right where sousuke's shadow blankets the ground and he wonders -- when the hesitation ceases to exist, is that when he's forgotten his humanity entirely?
their lives aren't as terrible as they could be. it's not like the movies, where the enemy is faster and stronger and more bloodthirsty; they amble about like lost beasts, eating carrion like vultures, dangerous only after scenting blood. otherwise none of them would have survived. rin, who was seventeen when the infection broken out in tokyo, the high population density meaning that the city was overrun in a matter of days. it had taken longer to spread to iwatobi, at which point the local municipality had taken precautions. rin had learned to shoot a gun, to barricade a house, to start a fire with minimal help. they'd taken sousuke's parents' house as their home base, tearing away memory and history before making it their own. sousuke's parents had been in tokyo during the first wave. ]
Sorry.
[ rin's voice is soft, but it still carries across the room. sousuke is sitting on the bed, looking cold and unreachable in his distance. it makes rin want to shuck off his bloody clothes and tuck himself against sousuke's side, to bring him back from the brink of terrible memory that strikes them all at the worst of times. ]
Should've taken that shot today. Thanks for covering for me.
[ his hesitation had flubbed it, but sousuke had been there, quick and deadly, taking out the two gristly horrors that would have separated rin's head from his neck had they made it another ten feet forward.
they'd been two children. two girls. one of them still had her hair in pigtails.
rin unbuttons his jacket, tossing it off to the side to be sanitized later. he drags his pants off, as well. in a t-shirt a boxers, both clean except for the dust and sweat of the day, rin goes to the desk, pulling out the first aid kid that's already running low. they'll have to make another supply run sometime this week. ]
Let me take care of that gash on your arm, alright?
no subject
they had been out and about roaming for food when they ran into the two zombie girls. sousuke was deeper inside the house when it happened. he had actually come across a very good haul of food and other important necessities they would need later on in the week. he forgot why he called out to rin now, but i'm pretty sure it had something to do with their inventory on socks and blankets. so when rin didn't answer back right away he knew something was up. he dropped everything he had been holding and ran out towards the front of the house, and that's where he saw them.
two dead zombie girls were slowly advancing on rin and he just stood there. without really thinking on it, sousuke quickly grabbed one of the dusty lamps that was in reach and ran towards his friend. unfortunately as he did this, he brushed right up against a piece of wood that was sticking out from the wall. he faltered a little, but it didn't stop him from taking the two zombies out silently. and of course he knifed them in the head after they fell. he didn't want to risk getting bitten, after all. once the two girls were taken care of he dropped the lamp and doubled back the room he was in and grabbed the bag. when he had everything he made an instant b-line for rin and gently touched his shoulder signaling that they needed to go. they had spent too much time in this house anyway.
anyway- that happened a couple of hours ago and he's still thinking about it. he snaps out of thought the moment he hears rin speak up. his gaze lifts off of the sheets and over to his friend.]
It's fine. We probably need to conserve our ammo anyway. I get the feeling that we're running short.
[he really knew what rin was trying to get at though. and honestly he couldn't blame him. rin was still probably worried over not knowing if his sister was doing okay after they split up a while ago. the girls probably reminded him of her. so of course rin wouldn't be in the right state of mind, especially when he stumbled into people who reminded him of his little sister.
truth be told, sousuke's kind of glad that he's not in rin's shoes right now, since he's pretty positive that both of his parents died when this first started. it... kind of helped him think that at least, he truly didn't know if they were alive or not. and the only person sousuke truly cared about was with him right now. so he was okay with rin not being fast enough.
anyway- he scoots over and pats the space next to him.] Sure.
no subject
he dreams of gou often. none of the others, only gou. her hair a streaming red banner, the unnaturally bright. hiding thumbprints of blood across her skull. rin wakes, but he never truly wakes — it stays with him, the image of his baby sister, down into every crevice they descend.
rin takes the invitation, slipping into sousuke's space with the ease of familiarity. after their isolation, that familiarity has only grown and grown, until rin hardly recognizes what it is to be separate. he unpacks the first aid kit with practiced hands. a wet cloth, antiseptic, gauze, bandage. clean, disinfect, wrap.
they've both changed since, their strong swimmers' builds giving way to a lean hunger. they look like runners, the bulm of muscle sloughed off, only the necessary remaining. sousuke, hollow-cheeked. sometimes, when rin catches sight of him in the periphery, it takes a moment for recognition to settle in. ]
Sousuke.
[ rin murmurs, softly. once he's finished washing the wound, dried flakes of blood dotting his hands. ]
If it ever comes down to it -- if you ever have to choose between saving my idiotic ass and getting out of there yourself --
[ he's obviously been thinking about this for a great amount of time, because the words are sharp with the characteristic matsuoka determination. he won't take a refusal for an answer. ]
It's my own damn fault that I freeze up like that. You can't choose me.
no subject
he watches rin unpack everything and get to bandaging his arm up as he lets his thoughts drift to a more safer territory. he can't allow himself to think so much on stuff like that. he knows he needs to be rin's rock. in fact, he's more than willing to make the hard calls and do the things that could potentially damage a person.
his eyes widen in momentary shock as he listens to rin. he bites the inside of his cheek to stop him from completely going off on rin.]
Are you done? [his eyes never leave rin's] Because I'm tired of listening to you say how better off I would be if I left you behind whenever things get too tough. I'll always choose you, frozen butt and all, so you better get used to it.
no subject
he pulls out a long splinter embedded in the gash, folding it into the wet cloth before he replies. ]
Stop being an idiot and listen to me. For once.
[ there's anger in rin's voice, even as he manages to keep his hands gentle. this isn't a fight they've had before, but it's one that's been brewing for a long time. ]
I'm good out there. I know I am. But - you have to admit that you're better. Forget everything else, if we're just talking who has a higher chance of surviving alone, if it comes down to it --
[ rin's hand on sousuke's shoulder, curling over the swell of it. the smell of antiseptic sharp in the air. ]
Of course it would be you.
the fact that i logged into this account for this icon tho..... sobs
[sousuke rarely liked telling people to shut up, but, he also didn't like thinking about having to go on without his best friend. while he knows what rin says is true, he's also pretty sure that if rin does die (or turns) then he really wouldn't have anything left to live for. which probably says how unhealthy his reliance is when it comes to rin.
he didn't really like admitting it, because it really reeked of weakness. but he would be lying to himself if he tried to deny it. he needed rin, he needed to know that the other was doing well, and that he was alive and kicking. and not some dead being that ate other people.]
I wouldn't last a day if you died. [he lowers his head a little.] I need you, Rin. I need you more than you know.
sousuke why are you so hot when you're pissed though
You should have said that before. Before all of this happened.
[ he's not talking about either of them dying.
rin gives up on trying to unravel the knot of bandage; his hands are shaking too violently. he leans instead to press his forehead against sousuke's shoulder, filling his lungs with the scent of blood and sweat and isopropanol. ]
idk man, these are things i ask myself on a daily basis......
he gives a quiet huff as he shakes his head.] There wasn't really a good time to bring it up.
rin never stood a chance
It doesn't change anything, you realize?
[ and only after he's mastered himself does he look up at sousuke, putting a handspan of distance between them again. reaching for the bandage. he's calm now, deathly so. ]
Your feelings don't get precedence over mine.
nope, rip rin. rip.
That's not really fair to make me decide on something like that, Rin.
not a bad way to go tbh
Is it fair to say something like I need you when I'm trying to lay out our future? What if Gou wanders back? What if Haru does? You can't just go and selfishly sacrifice yourself for me when there's the possibility that one of the others are going to need you somewhere down the line. I wanted to make sure of that.
[ and that's the crux of it. that's why rin had brought it up in the first place. it's not only about the two of them. ]
wow rude
You're asking me to move on without you, Rin! How exactly is that fair? I would never choose to leave you behind. Besides what would your sister or Haru say if they found out that things got to dicey and I had to leave you behind? They would hate me. They would ask me why I didn't stay behind and help you fight them off. And what do I tell them? You wanted me to leave you behind.
no subject
[ he's terrified of it. after dreaming so hard for so long, and now being left with ash and bloodied hands and sousuke.
well, having sousuke here is the only reason he's made it this far. ]
Just -- if it comes down to me or you. You have to choose yourself.
ughhhh kill me now
they can bury us in the same plot
[ there are tears rising past the anger, but rin is helpless against them, unable to do anything but let them follow the curve of his cheeks, clinging to his chin before falling to wet his t-shirt.
because he can't fault sousuke for being unable to make a promise that rin knows that he wouldn't be able to keep, either. ]
rip us. /single tear
[sousuke frowns as he sees the tears track down his face. he reaches out to gently wipe them away with his thumb.]
/ugly cries, rin-style
he busies himself with retying the bandage instead. he wants to say it again, the insistence that sousuke's feelings can't take precedence over his own. but rin knows sousuke as well as he knows himself. stubbornness is a trait they share. ]
Then I guess it's just a matter of me steeling up. [ rin pats at the re-tied bandage before his hands fall away. his gaze to the window. outside, nothing has changed. ] So I don't get you and your giant sappy heart eaten.
/ugly cries as well, but sousuke-style
what rin says though, earns a tiny smile out of sousuke] Yeah, because that's the last thing me and my giant sappy heart needs.
sousuke crying alone in the locker room ... never over it
even if there's a part of him unworthy of acknowledgment that feels an iota of relief. ] I'm still pissed off at you.
drowns in his tears
after a few minutes pass sousuke breaks out into a light chuckle.] I can live with that so long as this means you understand where I'm coming from.
no subject
sousuke is grimy, dirty, covered in sweat, but rin sets his cheek to the knobs of his spine anyway. ]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need me. I got that part.
[ flippant words, but the fact that rin has moved closer rather than putting distance between them should be answer enough. ]
no subject
You'll never guess what I found when we were raiding that house.
no subject
[ rin's response is cranky but lacking the sharpness from a moment prior, muffled against sousuke's back.
it's all that they can do, maybe. it's what the world has reduced them to: the physical embodiment of their stubbornness, moving forward until they can't possibly continue. ]
no subject
I think the person was either going on a diet, and failed; or was an athlete that had way too many cheat days. I remember you saying that you were too picky when it came to protein bars, so, I hope this is an okay selection.
no subject
then he's laughing softly, the sound of it pulled free from somewhere deep within. of all the things to find, he'd never thought that the sight of pocari sweat would make him feel like this. glad to be alive. glad to be here, with his best friend, who still knows him best.
he reaches down, just enough to thumb away a fleck of blood on sousuke's cheek. ]
God, I'm just -- remember that time that I asked you to get me a drink and you came back with that awful Beetle Golden Honey shit?
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